Love never gives up
by megryan2189
Summary: This is set 5 years after the gang graduates from Rawley. Things are not the same. Some have been pushing people out. Some have been waiting for the courage to come back. Some have tried to put pieces back together. But when a tragedy strikes how far will they all go to put the past behind them to save her? Sometimes it's never giving up that really says I love you.
1. Chapter 1

"Sometimes it's never giving up that says I love you"

I don't own any of the characters. All characters belong to the WB/CW. I only invented Parker and Samantha (to be introduced later.). And the town school that the "townies" go to.

Rating: For right now its K+, T. As you get into the story some parts are rated M.

Summary: This story takes place 5 years after Hamilton Fleming, Jake (Jacqueline) Pratt, Scout Calhoun, Will Krudski, Bella Banks and Sean McGrail have graduated from Rawley Academy and Whitley High School. Things have changed drastically which will be revealed through flashbacks. Hamilton and Jake along with Bella and Scout have chosen to take different paths for their lives, but will they find their way back to each other and what will it cost both couples? Jake has a past that she finds is soon catching up with her, but will she confide in her best friends or push them away in an attempt to keep them safe? Will and Sean have always tried to keep everyone together, but just how far are they willing to go to accomplish that? Everyone needs someone to love and love them in return. Sometimes you find it in the people that refuse to give up on you, no matter how far you push them away or how long it takes.

Chapter 1

Hamilton never really knew when he had made the decision to call her. He knew he had wanted to everyday for the past 5 years. So why hadn't he called already? Fear. "She can't have forgiven me. I deserve to be hated. I love her but I deserve for her to hate me." Well just great now I'm talking to myself. He wasn't afraid that she'd hate him or that she'd hang up on him. He was afraid she'd say she still loved him. So as he sat on the floor of his empty apartment he dialed her number and let the memory he always pushed away come back to him.

It was 3 days until graduation at Rawley Academy. As I walked across campus towards the girls dorm room I didn't know which was pounding more, my head or my heart. I knew I had to tell her. She deserved that. We'd been dating since we were 15. 4 years was a long time I knew that but now it felt like no time at all. We had fought last night over something that now was very very stupid. I hadn't intended on getting drunk at the end of school party, and I certainly hadn't intended on sleeping with Bella. The memory, no matter how fuzzy, still made me hate myself. Right as I was about to knock on Jake's door I heard the voices raise inside.

"Come on Jake! How can you just stand there and not want to go bust down Ham's door? Sean told me he saw Bella and Ham go into the room for 2 hours then come out looking bewildered and dazed. We both know what happened!" That was Scout Calhoun. Bella's boy, ex-boyfriend now. I hadn't seen Sean at the party but now I had to talk to Jake alone. She had to hear me out. Before I could raise my hand again I heard her answer him.

"Scout. I'm not okay. Yes I know what probably happened and I know what I have to do. I'm leaving today." Leave? Today?

"NO!" I screamed as I flung open her door. "Jake please. Listen to me. We need to talk. You can't run away from me. From us. Please." I begged her. I looked at Scout and I swear if looks could kill I'd have been dead. I looked back at her and I saw the hurt she was trying to hide. "Scout. Please go get my jeep. I'll be down in a minute." She tossed him her keys with an apprehensive look on her face. Surprisingly, he looked back at her knowingly and left the room.

"Jake, I…"

"Stop Hamilton." She cut me off. "I know what you'll say. You're sorry and never meant for it to happen. But it did Hamilton. It happened." She was crying now, she never cried. I stepped toward her and she stepped back. "Bella, you, why? Was I not enough? After everything we've been through Ham did our love mean that little to you?" She had turned away from me.

"Jake I love you. You're always going to be enough for me. I was drunk and upset that in 3 days you'd be in New York and I'd be in Los Angeles. I can't be without you Jake. I was going to…"

"Propose?" I looked at her in shock. How had she known? As if answering my thought she said "I found the ring Ham. And I would have said yes. But now I can't. I can't look at you and NOT think about you with her." We both looked out the window when we heard the jeep pull up.

"Don't go. Stay. Please. Jacqueline. Jake. I love you." I reached out and took her in my arms, willing her to stay.

She hugged me back then said "I can't Hamilton. I have to go." She pulled back and looked me in the eyes."I wish I was fifteen again. Goodbye Hamilton Fleming." She picked up her duffel bag and left.

I still don't know how long I stood there. I remember watching as Scout gave her a hug goodbye. Will was also there and I remember him hugging her too. Then I remember walking back to my house ignoring Will's attempts to get my attention. I didn't want to talk. I didn't want to think. I don't remember the next 3 days. "She's gone." That was all I thought or said. I remember landing in Los Angeles and going to college. I remember turning down jobs shooting for Vogue and National Geographic. Now I remember why, being the great photographer everyone knew I could be meant nothing without Jake.

As I sat there listening to the phone ringing I thought "I love you Jake. Please pick up." Then all my thoughts froze when I heard her say "Hello?"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I had been sitting at my desk for what felt like hours. As I watched my dog sleep on the floor next to my bed I looked again at the letter I had written.

Kate,  
I can't say it's been long because it hasn't. Thank you for mailing me the article  
about Hamilton. I'm sending you and Mr. Fleming some more of the money you  
say I don't owe you. Thank you again for helping me as long as you did. I know  
you had asked again why I don't want Hamilton to know and the only thing I can  
think of is…because I still love him. I know that should be why I should want him  
to know but I want his dreams to come true. I can't be the one thing that holds  
him back. You also asked about Munchie. He's still growing fast. Eats almost as  
much as Hamilton used to actually. Who knew golden retrievers grew this fast?  
Oh wait…YOU! I'm sending along a picture that Will took at the park of me and  
Munchie. I'll come and visit soon.  
Jacqueline

I had written a lot of letters to Kate the past 5 years. One, maybe two a month at least. EVERY one said I'd visit her and Mr. Fleming soon. EACH one said I still loved Hamilton. ONLY one had ever mentioned the real reason I left New Rawley, and NOT one had mentioned the reason why things had ended with me and Hamilton. I still remember sitting in the Flemings living room after I had gotten the legal papers telling me I had truly lost everything, like it was yesterday.

I had knocked on the door looking for Ham. I needed to tell him I was sorry but he wasn't there. I didn't know I was crying until Mr. Fleming had sat me on the couch.

"Jacqueline, what's wrong? Calm down. Kate!"

"No one wants me." That's all I could respond.

"Nonsense. Hamilton does. I do, Kate does. Surely your mother…"

"NO! Especially not her! Plus I don't have parents anymore." Mrs. Fleming was sitting with us now and as I looked up and saw the looks on their faces I started to explain. I handed Mr. Fleming the envelope and as he opened it I started. "I'm 18. I'm set to go to NYU. I know I'm legally an adult but they signed over their parental rights anyway. Well mom did, the state took dads. Apparently leaving your daughter when she's 10 and not showing up at all is abandonment. I could have told them that much, although I always wished he would someday come back but now I know he won't. And mom doesn't want to have a daughter anymore apparently. Along with that went my apartment, money for college, everything. I have to leave tomorrow morning to try and figure all this out. I have to figure out how to do this all on my own." I hadn't looked at them until now and it's what they said next that made me realize I'd never be alone.

"We have an apartment in Manhattan. It's yours until you graduate or can afford to get your own." I looked at Mrs. Fleming and realized she was 100% serious.

"Mrs. Fleming I can't do that. It wouldn't feel right. I'm not family…" It was Mr. Fleming who interrupted me, still gripping the papers in his hand.

"Nonsense Jacqueline. You are family. As for college let me handle that okay? Just go home and get your things moved over. We'll take this one day at a time okay?" He handed me a key off his key ring and went to his home office. He had set the papers down on the table but there was something in his eyes that almost screamed this is far from over.

I waited for Hamilton to come home but he didn't. When they insisted I stay for dinner I did only because I couldn't think of a reason to say no. It was when I was upstairs in Ham's bathroom "washing up" as Mrs. Fleming would say that I found the ring. It was in a box laying under the last hand towel in the closet. I remember thinking life couldn't get any better.

Before the rest of the memories could come back I shoved the letter in my desk drawer, grabbed my keys and Munchies leash and said "Hey Munchie. Let's go for a walk huh?" On our way out I grabbed my phone and barely noticed the time said 1:00am. We went to the park around the corner. Even though I knew most people wouldn't feel safe outside in Manhattan at 1am, they didn't have Munchie. He'd always been protective of me, like he knew I'd needed to feel protected. Like I had always felt with Hamilton.

That's when my phone rang. "Hello?" I picked up without looking at the caller ID.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Hello?" I said again when I got no answer. "Ok if you called me just to not speak to me I'm not having the best of nights and you're about to get the…" I was cut off when a voice on the other end of the line said "Jake. God I miss you."

I nearly dropped the phone. I was not expecting Hamilton to be on the other end.

"Ha…Hamilton? It's been 5 years. Wh…Why call me now?"

"Believe me Jake, I've tried to work up the courage to call you many times the past 5 years. I miss you. I miss my best friend. I miss…"

Now I had to cut him off.

"Stop Hamilton. Don't say us. Please. Look I'm sorry. I miss you too, my best friend but I can't do this. I have to get home. I'm sorry I can't do this, well not tonight or this morning rather. I'll call you later Hamilton." With that I hung up."Come on Munchie. Time to go home buddy." Once we got home I was careful not to wake Will as Munchie and I went to our room. I thought about Hamilton a lot that night. I wanted to talk to him, tell him that I forgave him long ago for that night with Bella, tell him what had been in the envelope and that his parents had taken me in like family, but most of all I wanted to tell him that all he needed to do to keep me was to come after me when I left. Munchie had jumped up on the bed and like the good dog he is he never left as I cried myself to sleep.

Hamilton had done it. He had called her. Now he knew something was wrong. He hadn't thought of the time difference until now. It was 10pm here in Los Angeles so that meant it was "1 in the morning? Where was she?" Okay, so I'm still talking to myself he thought.

After an hour he was still trying to figure out what was wrong with Jake. Her words kept repeating in his head. Bad night, why call now, don't say us, can't do this, but the three words he couldn't shake were "I miss you." She had sounded…off. He knew Jake better than anyone and he could tell she wanted to say more but why hadn't she? He didn't know he had fell asleep but was glad when the answer finally came to him through a dream or memory actually.

He was at Rawley Academy lying on the docks next to Jake as they read the book they had to write a report on. It was before her secret had come out so people had still thought she was a boy.

"This is cheesy Jake. Why pick this book for us to read? They're completely different. There's no way this guy will put his reputation on the line for her."

I had regretted saying that when she looked at me and said "Well Fleming we are completely different. So maybe I'll just leave and you can put your reputation back together."

I was shocked to say the least because I had told her time and time again I didn't care about my reputation. "Jake! That's not what I meant! I love you. And I could care less if people think we're gay or not. It's our life not theirs. Besides I'd fight anyone who even dared to…" She smiled at me now.

"See, Ham. Now you get the book. He loves her. She is afraid of getting hurt but he fights for her, emotionally and physically, until the very end." Now I knew she was being playful and two could play at that game.

"Hmm that's so deep for a BOY Pratt." Then I threw our books aside, stood up, grabbed her and jumped into the lake.

He woke up and sat straight up. He knew now what she needed. And he knew how to do it. As he got up and grabbed his phone to call Will he opened up his laptop and said "I'll fight for you Jake. No matter how long it takes, I'll never give up."

Jake didn't know how long she'd been asleep but she hadn't wanted to wake up. She was only -95% sure Hamilton actually did call her last night. She had hoped it wasn't a dream. She remembered she had said she'd call him back and what better time than the present. Munchie was still asleep next to her so she decided not to wake the dog yet. As she reached for her phone she saw her laptop on the table next to her phone with a post it note on it. She picked it up and read the note, no doubt from Will probably.

Hey Roomie! So I snuck in to  
tell you to check your email.  
Trust me, you know you want  
to! WILL

She rolled her eyes. She had moved in with her best friend 2 ½ years ago when she had gotten tired of staying in the Flemings apartment alone. Will had been at NYU with her and always offered to split the rent with her; she finally decided why not he is my best friend. Plus, there was never a dull moment. They always played pranks on each other and they even watched movies together and went to dinner. People at school always thought there was something more but they had thoroughly convinced everyone they were just friends. She logged in and heard "you've got mail". "WOW! What a big shock. Wonder who it's from." She said sarcastically. She read them one by one.

From: LitManKrudski  
To: JPRawleyGirl  
Subject: Don't hate me…  
Okay Jake. I'm not the only one who emailed you. But I'm sorry ahead of time. Once you've read the other email I'm waiting with your coffee and a shield in the kitchen.  
Will

"Ok. That's random. Will, why would you need a 'shield' and who else emailed me? Holy Crow!" I ended up semi-screaming as the next email opened up. Hamilton.

From: HPhlem85  
To: JPRawleyGirl  
Subject: Waiting for your call New York…  
"It was I remembered thinking the most difficult walk anyone had ever had to make. In every way a walk to remember."  
I'm not going to give up Jake. I will fight for you just like I always have babe. I love you Jacqueline Pratt.  
3Ham  
PS. Krudski said you're late for the board meeting. So GO! Then maybe email me back and explain why and how you work for my dad? You went from hacking into the Rawley database to keeping hackers out, I'm impressed.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"William Krudski!" I screamed now as I jumped up in a rush. I got dressed, grabbed my laptop and phone and went to the kitchen. "How could you let me oversleep! You know Munchie broke my alarm clock and now it was up to you to wake me up for just this ONE meeting! And why would you tell Hamilton I work for his dad!" I grabbed the coffee he held out to me and glared at him, awaiting his answer.

"I'm sorry Jake. Hamilton called like 10 minutes ago and I had gotten in late last night and he was rushing me to put that note on your laptop asking me a million questions like why is email to 'RawleyGirl' wouldn't go through when her knew that was your email. Before I was completely awake I answered 'yeah you have to add JP in front of it cause it's a work email now and it's a new security feature her and your dad put in place and oh no she's going to kill me for making her late!' So I did what Ham asked and then made your coffee for you and took cover. But Jake. GO! You're still late!" He was rambling and talking fast but I knew it wasn't all his fault even though I would blame him but I'd get over it.

As I walked to the Hotel where the meeting was going to take place I couldn't think of anything but Hamilton's email. He still loved me. I knew this now without a doubt. I noticed Mr. Fleming waiting for me; I was mildly surprised he had made it in time from New Rawley. Then again when was Dean Fleming ever late for anything. As I walked into the meeting room with Mr. Fleming I could tell everyone could see a change in my attitude or personality, something. But wisely they chose not to comment on it. The meeting went well and soon I was free to leave. I told Mr. Fleming I couldn't go to lunch because I had another appointment come up, when all I really had to do was send Hamilton a reply email. But that might as well be an appointment it'd be hard enough writing it and sending it.

I didn't want to go home just yet so I went to the park where I'd taken Munchie last night and sat in the grass under a tree. I pulled out my laptop and re-read his email about 5 times. "He loves me. Still. After 5 years of silence." I said this out loud but to no one in particular, I just had to hear myself say it to believe it. Now, I'd answer his email…

From: JPRawleyGirl  
To: HPhlem85  
Subject: Call to come Los Angeles…  
"The scariest thing about distance is that you don't know whether they'll miss  
you or forget you."  
Hamilton, there's a lot more about me you don't know. I do work for your dad to  
keep the hackers out. Glad I can impress you. I like the job a lot. I now live with  
Will and have been for the past 2 ½ years. Believe me it's not all we thought it  
would be in high school. He's an even bigger dork now, if that's possible. He  
does keep life interesting though. Scout lives in our building, 4 doors down  
actually. It's like some things from freshman year just don't change huh? Except  
now I'm the one with a roommate. I have a 4 year old golden retriever named  
Munchie. I love him. He's very cute. There is more I want to tell you but not  
through an email. Over the phone or even possibly by webcam if you have  
one on your laptop. I have to get home to Munchie now. I love you Fleming.  
Jake3

Jake had been thinking of ways to tell Hamilton that his parents had actually been the ones to pay for her college and gave her their apartment for a long time. She also would have a hard time telling him they'd been there for her emotionally as well as physically and financially the past 5 years. She knew she had to tell him about her mom and that mess. She should have told him 5 years ago. When she got home there was an envelope on the door with her name on it. "That's weird…" She muttered as she took it and walked inside. She sat the empty coffee mug on the counter and saw Will's note.

Took Munchie for a walk. Picking  
up Chinese for dinner. Call Ham  
please he's been bugging me all  
day.  
WILL

She would talk to Hamilton soon enough on her webcam. He could wait 10 more minutes. First she had to read the intriguing note left on her door. She didn't know why but she was scared to open it. There was something familiar about it but it wasn't a good familiar. And that was when it happened. Her past had come back to haunt her. Except now, it wasn't just her that her past was after…

Jackie. I told you, you'd regret it.  
You shouldn't have done what  
you did at 14. Some things you  
can't take back. I'm watching you  
little one. Not even Fleming, Krudski  
or Calhoun can keep me away.  
I know you haven't told them. I  
like a challenge. See you. –P

"Oh. My. God." She kept repeating out loud. "It can't be Parker. It can't. They wouldn't parole him. Would they?" She mumbled to herself. No matter how much she wanted to believe that it wasn't Parker. She still found herself locking the front door, the balcony, and the windows. "Not now. Please not now. Not when I'm just getting him back. How am I supposed to tell him THIS?" She sobbed as she fell to the floor and brought her knees up in front of her, grateful that Will wasn't home.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

It wasn't long before Jake pulled it together. She couldn't lose it. She couldn't be weak and she couldn't let her friends know anything was wrong. She had come to the decision that she would forget about it, for now at least. She grabbed a coke and went to her room. She turned on her laptop and sat it on the desk. If she was going to tell Hamilton the truth she should probably start with the letters his mom and her wrote over the past 5 years. She got the shoebox out of her closet and sat it on her bed. She hid the note from Parker in the only drawer in her desk that locked.

Her laptop was on and internet connected. Her nervousness and enthusiasm at wanting to actually see Hamilton was consuming her, but she still sat there for about 5 minutes before logging into her AOL account. "Well Jacqueline it's now or never." She hit the log in button and waited. Her heart skipped a beat when she pulled up the chat screen and saw he was online. "Will he always wait for me?" She asked herself as she sent the webcam request.

Hamilton had been, more or less, patiently waiting for her to log on all day. He didn't have a job at the moment so what else did he have to do with his time. He had cleaned up his apartment to pass the time, which took all of 20 minutes. He was now sitting in his room listening to an old Third Eye Blind CD he found and playing basketball with his trash can. *Ding* He missed his last shot when he heard the alert from his laptop behind him. He quickly hit accept and waited for their webcams to connect. The song had changed now and he swore it was like a scene straight from a movie. He saw her window appear on his screen just as the words began to register and he realized what song it was.

"Anything for you, Turn my castles blue, Turn my bones to sand, Just to see you, I'll give you anything." They sat there for a few seconds just looking at each other.

She must have heard the song because she said "Third eye blind? I guess music choices don't change."

He couldn't help but smile at her with his best innocent look."Guess not Jake." He would have been content just sitting here looking at her but he could feel the tension through the computer screen. They both had things to say, that needed to be said. He knew from knowing her so long that she didn't want to go first, so with Lena's words from the summer cotillion repeating in his head, he threw caution to the wind as he always had with Jake and started to pour his heart out to her.

"Jake. You look…" He struggled for the right words.

"Foxy?" She had finished for him. Obviously remembering his first compliment to her when they were 15.

"No." He chuckled. "You were foxy at 15. Now you're gorgeous, and beautiful, and…yeah still foxy." Now he was full on laughing. It was true, every word he'd said. Her green eyes still had that same sparkle they had always had when she looked at him. Her hair was different but he loved this pixie cut better than the layered long hair she'd had the last time he saw her.

"Keep laughing Fleming. I'll get you back."

"Uh-huh. Come to Los Angeles and say that Pratt."

"Hmm. Don't tempt me." He was surprised a little to see that it felt so easy still to talk to Jake. He was sure that to an outsider it would look like they had talked everyday for the past 5 years when really they hadn't. Not once. But this moment, talking to her, seeing her, it made it feel like the last 5 years of sheer agony for Hamilton hadn't happened. He finally felt like he was home. "How are you Ham?"

He saw now that she had relaxed and he knew they'd probably be at this a while. "Honestly, hungry. Come with me. Do you want the grand tour of casa de Fleming first?" He smirked and she laughed.

"Some things never change, Munchie. But yes let me see this apartment you are obviously proud of." He glared at his screen for a second before he answered her. He still hadn't warmed up that much of the nickname his mom had given to him when he was 5. He would never admit it but he actually kind of like when Jake called him munchie. But only her, no one else.

"Can't call me that anymore. Your dog might get confused." He shot her a joking look and picked up his laptop. "This is my room, simple enough. Bed. Camera. Computer. Pictures of you." He continued his tour and showed her every room of his small apartment. It took literally 3 minutes. He sat his laptop on the kitchen counter and went to his work making something to eat.

"Still like spaghetti Ham?"

"It's easy to cook. Not much fun eating by yourself but hey I cook once I have meals for a few days. It's…okay. How are you Jake?" He tried to hide the fact that he was lonely but he knew she probably saw through him.

"Oh you know…I'm okay. Will's bringing home Chinese then Scout will probably come over to play Pictionary; I'll kick his butt of course. It's a normal Friday night." He noted in his head that she too sounded lonely. He didn't want her to sound lonely or sad so he decided to try to bring up some memories to TRY and lighten the mood.  
"I remember what Friday night was like freshman year. Never a dull moment. Me either sneaking in the boy's dorm to see you or you sneaking out my window after a long make out session. We thought we were so sneaky but almost always got caught somewhere outside on campus by my dad." He shot her a playful look as he started browning the meat for his spaghetti.

"Yeah. I also remember the look on your face that Christmas break. The first Christmas I spent in the Fleming house because my mom was too busy and wanted to 'postpone' Christmas until spring break. Who knew that 3 days before Christmas we'd be caught by your parents. It did make for one awkward situation though." He remembered THAT moment for many different reasons.

"Yeah, they told us they'd always known you were Jacqueline. After Christmas break you came back to school at Rawley GIRLS and were publically my GIRLfriend. The dean also became more like the dad I'd always wanted him to be after that, but most of all, I remember them accepting you like nothing had happened and they loved you almost as much as I do." They were both smiling at each other now. They had both thought that Mr. Fleming would throw BOTH of them out of Rawley when he found them making out in the backyard but instead he had laughed and said "Well it's about time I tell you Jacqueline is enrolled in Rawley Girls huh? Come on kids' dinner is ready." They had both been shocked, to say the least, to learn that his parents had always known she was a girl.

"How'd we end up like this Hamilton? We had more love than probably anyone could imagine. We could have had forever."

He put his head in his hands and mumbled "It's MY fault. We SHOULDN'T be like this. I'm so sorry Jake. For everything, fighting, Bella, it's entirely my fault." He had to turn around. He wouldn't let her see the self-hatred in his eyes. But most of all he wouldn't let her see him cry. He busied himself by making the rest of his dinner. He hadn't meant to say more but he couldn't stop now that he had started. "If I hadn't gone to that party for both high schools I would have been with you. If only I hadn't drank the 12 beers that I did, which I only did to try to forget our fight and work up the courage to tell you I was stupid. If I hadn't started to confide in Bella then maybe we'd still be…"

"I LIED Hamilton!" He had stopped pacing. Surely he had heard her wrong. It sounded like she was going to try and take the blame for everything.

"What Jake? No! It's over between us because I slept with Bella. You left New Rawley because you couldn't stay with me knowing that. I remember that perfectly clear. So don't try and tell me…" He was cut off when she started yelling back at him.

"No Hamilton! I lied. I didn't leave because of you and Bella. I used that as an excuse not to tell you the REAL reason! I should have told you the TRUTH then. I can't lie anymore Ham. I need you to know, everything. Then YOU can make a choice. STAY or GO. I'm so sorry Hamilton. It was never supposed to be this long. I…" She had stopped so suddenly he fell to the floor with the laptop in his lap. He hadn't believed her when she had first said 'I LIED Hamilton!' but now…now he believed her.

But if they'd both been at fault then if they'd had this talk 5 years ago, would they be happy together now? He would never leave her, he couldn't. He loves her and you don't leave someone you love. But what could she think was so bad that he'd want to leave?


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Will was glad today was his day off work. He liked his job writing for the Times but it wasn't as fulfilling as it was at first. He still had his dream of writing his own book or movie one day. After Jake had left for her meeting he tried to go back to sleep. He had gotten in late because Lena, his old high school girlfriend and a good friend of Jake's, had gotten into town and needed a ride to her hotel from the airport. He had stayed to catch up with her and by the time they realized it was 1am they finally said they'd see each other later and he left. Sleep wouldn't come to him though because Munchie wanted to play, so he tired the dog out very soon by playing her favorite game. Once he was done he collapsed on the couch only to hear *ring ring*. "Damn cell phone. Hamilton go away." He muttered under his breath as he took out his phone.

He didn't need to look at the caller ID or open his eyes to know who it was. Everyone else he knew was at work on Friday."What do you want Ham?" He didn't say it too mean but just put enough exasperation in his voice to convey he didn't really want to talk right now.

"What you doing Krudski? No work on Friday? I'm in shock, you love to work. Unlike some other people I know." Just great, Ham wanted to talk.

"Sleeping, Fleming." Hopefully he would let me sleep now.

"Well wake up. It's 9am there, you shouldn't be sleeping." Nope. Ham didn't get it.

"I'm snoring now." He was sure that if Ham wanted to talk all he had to do was say 'uh huh' at just the right time and he'd be ok to just lay there and not really concentrate on listening.

"Ok, then just listen. Look I've been out of work here a while and I want to come to New York. Try my luck there ya know?" Uh huh, he thought to himself.

"I'm sure you do Ham. But not just for work right?" He could read Hamilton Fleming like a book and if Ham thought just because Will couldn't see him that he didn't know his real reason for wanting to come to New York he was dead wrong.

"Ok fine I'll admit it's got more to do with Jake than work but still. I'd need a place to stay. Scout said he wouldn't be much of a roommate with the long hours and his weekend clubbing. So that leaves you or my parent's apartment." Will had stopped listening long after he had started to ramble on about needing a place to stay.

"Yeah. Sure. Whatever you want Ham." I just want to sleep. Wait, did I just agree to something?

"Ok so I'll stay at your place. In your room. With you. No one's got to know Will." He jumped right off the couch to his feet in half a second.

"WHAT! Hell no Ham! You can get a hotel room. Ugh now I need to go puke!" It was only now that he heard the laughter coming from the other side of the phone. What was Hamilton playing at?

"Krudski…I…knew…you…weren't…listening. But…man…that…was…so…hilarious! I…would…have…loved…to…see…you're…face!" Hamilton could barely get the words out between laughing so hard. He wasn't in the mood to be joked with but he had to admit now that he knew that Ham did it to get his attention it was a LITTLE funny.

"Leave me alone Fleming." He hung up his phone. He knew that he'd call back and apologize again.

When I realized now that sleep wouldn't be my friend again until tonight I figured I'd better go find the Pictionary game and re-arrange the living room. The way that they played they needed all the space they could get because sometimes it got to the point where Jake or Scout tackled someone for not knowing how to draw a decent picture. *ring ring* "Like a book." I muttered under my breath as I picked up my phone again. "Yes, Hamilton Fleming?"

"Will, I'm sorry. Really. It was just a joke. This morning was Jake REALLY late or just late? I'm trying to gauge what mood she'll be in today." He sounded nervous so I decided to cut him a break.

"Just late. I'll have her call you after she gets out. I do have to go though. Munchie needs food and a walk. So do I. See ya later Flem."

"All right. Thanks Will. See ya when I see ya."

Finally he didn't have to talk anymore. He turned on the radio and changed the station. Sarah McLaughlin might be Jake's favorite singer but not his. Will was more into rock music and the occasional country songs. Just as he was starting to get things done around the apartment he was disrupted again. Had Hamilton not gotten the hint that he didn't want to talk right now? He was making a sandwich at the present time and didn't want to eat and talk on the phone. *ring ring* it came again after he hadn't answered the first time.

"Hamilton! I swear I WILL have her call you! Hell, come to New York now and I'll pay for air fare and an apartment! I'm just not really into talking right now. I'm eating. Surely you understand that?" He had said this all so fast that he hadn't heard the familiar sound of milkshakes being made at Friendly's on the other end of the line.

"Uh Will? It's Sean. Listen we have to talk now. Can the eating wait?" He was momentarily surprised to hear it was Sean. His oldest and best friend in New Rawley had gotten a part time job at Friendly's after graduating from the community college in Carson. He also always worked on Fridays. Now he knew something was wrong.

"Sean? Yeah it can wait. What's wrong? You sound like you want to kick someone in the head."

"Yeah. Well it's more like I want to kick something really hard over and over again. Look I'm coming to New York. The train leaves tonight. How far are you from the train station I'll walk to your place?"

"It's about a 30 minute walk Sean. But explain something, why are you coming?"

"Well it's not just me. I'm bringing Bella with me. Look before you say anything you have to know that EVERYTHING has changed. Bella needs to tell Jake, Scout, Hamilton and you the TRUTH. But don't tell them we are coming because they'll run off."

"You can't come." He had to think fast in order to protect Jake from getting even more emotionally hurt than she already is. It was his job to make sure no one and nothing hurt Jake, wasn't it?

"Why not Will? The need to hear what she has to say."

"I'm saying this as Jake's best friend. She doesn't want to see Bella. It would only make the old wounds worse." He hoped this tactic would work on Sean.

"I see. I know Jake too. She's always made her own decisions. Will, I'm not blind. I know what's going on. Does Jake know?" He didn't have a clue what Sean was talking about. Well he hoped he didn't. He hadn't realized he hadn't answered until Sean continued. "Does Jake know that you love her? I don't mean as friends either Will." He suddenly felt as if I couldn't breathe.

"Look Sean. I have to go. I have a lot of things to do. I'll see how everything goes tonight after Jake talks to Ham. THEN we can talk about Bella and everything." He hung up without waiting for a response. He had to get out of the apartment now.

He took Munchie out with him. He was glad to have company that didn't voice the thoughts he didn't want to think about. He didn't really know where he was going. Now that Sean had voiced his deepest and most secret thoughts he couldn't help but think about them. He COULDN'T love Jake. She's his best friend, nothing more. It was then that he looked across the park and saw HER. She was writing something on her laptop. He could tell she was nervous but she also looked happier than he'd ever seen her in the last 5 years. It hit him like a wrecking ball, Hamilton. She was reaching back to him. Will didn't know why but he found himself talking to himself. "I love you Jake. But you can never know."

It was only 1:30 but he decided he would go wait for Scout to get off work. He had to get away from Jake. He would go see Scout then they'd go get Chinese and go back to the apartment and play Pictionary. Just like every other Friday night. Nothing was different. Not to an outsider. But to Will, everything had changed. He admitted it. After denying it for 4 years he could now admit it. It hurt, more than any pain he'd ever felt. He knew that he couldn't BE with her. He wanted to tell her but he wouldn't. He didn't want to hear her SAY what he already knew. It would never be HIM that she loved. It would always be HAMILTON.

That's the way it should be right?


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Will had been waiting outside for Scout for 3 and ½ hours. To say that Scout was surprised to see him pacing outside was an understatement. As they started towards his car he said "I thought we were meeting at your place at 6?"

"Yeah we were. I had to get out. Jake's talking to Hamilton." She had texted him and said she had decided to have a webcam chat with him and tell him the truth about everything. He wished her good luck. There must have been some emotion in his voice that sounded off because then Scout froze after letting Munchie in the backseat.

"Um…that's good. I'm sorry though. I know it has to be uncomfortable for you." It was his turn to be surprised.

"Why would you say that Scout?" Surely it wasn't that obvious. And if it was, he hoped Jake didn't know.

"I know what love looks like Will. I'm not completely oblivious. Don't worry though, Jake doesn't have a clue." Will was not expecting this conversation to happen but he had to talk to someone.

"I know its wrong Scout. I know I can't love her, she's Hamilton's other half. His soul mate. His best friend. And I love her. I'm a horrible friend."

"It's shouldn't not can't. Will, once you love someone I don't think you ever stop. But what you meant to say was you shouldn't love her because she's Ham's other half."

"Maybe. Scout? What if it's not the same with them anymore? What if they've hurt each other too much this time and they can't find their way back to each other?" Scout was quiet after that. It wasn't until he came out from getting the Chinese food that everything changed.

"Will. I'm your best friend, so I'm going to be honest. I've spent time over the past years with both Jake and Hamilton. I know there is still a huge flame of love and passion for each other in them both. You asked what if they can't find their way back. Well for lack of a better analogy picture a compass ok? It always points north. One way. Hamilton and Jake their feelings are like that compass, it always points them home, to each other. Do you get it?"

"But what if they have been hurt too much by each other? The past has a way of catching up and what if they figured it's not worth it anymore?"

"Ok. Remember when we had to read The Notebook our junior year for Finn's class. Well Jake and Ham are like that. I don't think any amount of hurt, time, or distance could cause them to give up on each other. Yeah, Bella and Ham was a BIG mistake. But they've been through worse. I mean Jake cheated once too, remember Greg? They got through that. It took a few months and we all realized that their voices got very loud when they yelled, but Ham learned to trust her again. Not to mention they were willing to keep up the 'Jake's a boy charade and we're gay' thing. They have a connection that most people probably form AFTER they fall in love. They were best friends first. They understood each other on a level no one ever had, that caused them to bond and then they fell in love. They will always stick by each other Will. This also isn't the first time Jake has kept something about her family from Ham. Remember the day he found out that Ryder was Jake's half brother?"

That had been one ugly fight. It was right before sophomore year was going to end. I mean like hours before. Jake had been talking to Ryder after loading the jeep that Hamilton had helped her get to replace her bike when it 'broke' mysteriously. We were all watching them because none of us could understand how she could just forgive him so easily for taunting them the way he did before her secret came out. He had turned over a new leaf after that but he still got to Hamilton. We were close enough now that we could hear part of their conversation.

"Jacqueline you're going to have to tell them sometime. At least tell Hamilton. He deserves to know."

"Yeah I know Ryder but it's still a shock to me. I mean I go home for spring break this year and BAM! My mom decides again to make my life even more complicated, as if it's not already complicated."

"It's not that uncommon Jacqueline. Having a baby you weren't ready for, giving it up for adoption, then 3 years later when you are ready you have another one? I mean it's not like they tried to keep us apart. My parents didn't know about you until Flemings dad figured it out and called BOTH our parents. I mean yeah they could have told me I was adopted in a different way but hey at least I have a sister who simply awesome."

"Watch it Ryder. No one knows ok? Only you, me and Ham's dad. I will tell him, when the time is right, and in the right way."

That was when Hamilton had heard enough and wanted to get the story now. "How about now Jake? How is this first class import jerk your brother?!"

"Ham how long have you been listening?"

"Long enough Jake! My dad knows?! Why would you keep this from me? Do you want me to not trust you?"

"Ham yes you can trust me. I just didn't know how to tell you babe. Please calm down and we can all go get lunch and talk?"

"Calm down? I find out that the guy who made our lives a living hell during summer session and freshman year is your brother and you want me to calm down?! If you can't tell me something like this what the hell else aren't you telling me Jacqueline!"

"Ham, please don't do this. I know what you're thinking and I swear I was going to tell you. I just had to find the right words to say. Don't walk away, please."

We all watched as Hamilton walked away and didn't look back. Jake left to go to New York for a few weeks before summer session. We didn't know how they'd worked it out but by the time she showed up a few weeks later she and Ham were better than ever.

"Yeah Scout. I remember. They had talked things out and fixed their relationship. They've had a lot of ups and downs over the years."

"I know Will. All I'm saying is don't get your hopes up. They might be able to work through this all. Bella and I weren't but we were never as strong as Hamilton and Jake."

Will knew all this was true. He tried not to get his hopes up. They had parked Scouts car next to Jake's jeep in the parking garage, in Will's spot. He had parked on the street the night before. As they went through the lobby and elevator the conversation had ended. Will couldn't help hoping that Jake was done talking to Hamilton and they could just have a normal night at home playing their silly game. Fate had other plans.

They opened the door to find Jake pacing the living room looking very nervous. She was mumbling something but they couldn't understand it. Will looked at Scout and they were silently debating who should break the silence.

Out of nowhere Scout burst out with "Jake guess what? They gave us extra egg rolls! Sweet huh?"

She had turned to look at them and said "Yeah great. He's coming."

And with those two words Will felt a pang of disappointment. He knew who she was talking about and despite Scouts warning not to get his hopes up, that's exactly what had happened.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Jake had been pacing the living room for about an hour. She told Hamilton everything about her mom, his parents, her financial support, everything. She expected him to be upset, but he wasn't. She couldn't stop thinking about what he had told her, there had to be something she was missing.

"Jake. I think we need to talk in person. Apparently my parents are better at keeping secrets than we both thought. As to you telling me I could make a decision about where we stand, you already know baby. I'm not going anywhere, except to New York. I'll be there tomorrow at 5pm. See you when I see you Jake." That's what he said. What secret had he asked his parents to keep? She couldn't figure it out. As she was pacing she hadn't realized she tuned everything out until she heard Scout talking from the kitchen.

"Jake guess what?! They gave us extra egg rolls! Sweet huh?" Egg rolls? Seriously she thought to herself. She couldn't care less about anything but Hamilton would be here, with her, by this time tomorrow. "Yeah great. He's coming." She had answered him. She knew she didn't have to tell him who he would know. It was after she had said it she noticed Will's face. He looked hurt, like someone had run over his puppy. "Will, are you okay? You look…hurt." She had to ask. She didn't normally like to pry into his life but somehow she felt responsible for the look on his face, even if she didn't know why.

"Yeah, Jake I'm fine. So, Hamilton is coming to New York, when?" He was hiding something; she could just barely hear it in his voice.

"He'll be here tomorrow at 5pm. I'm supposed to meet him at the airport." She walked over to the kitchen and tried to break the tension she felt in the air. "So, ready to get your butt kicked in Pictionary again guys?" Scout had smirked at her and walked off with his chicken fried rice. Will didn't respond. "Okay, maybe we shouldn't play tonight. How about we just watch a movie instead? Any suggestions?"

"Let's play Jake. It's fine. Lena just cancelled our date for tomorrow that's all." Will went to go sit next to Scout but she still wasn't convinced everything was okay. But she got her sesame chicken and egg rolls and went to take her place next to the drawing board. They always let her go first and she was usually up here for a while as Scout guessed. Tonight her first card said 'Dancing with Wolves', easy she thought to herself. She drew a wolf, or a dog that seemed to look mean, wearing a tutu. She put arrows indicating that the dog-wolf was supposed to be spinning; as she saw the look on Scout's face she knew he had no clue.

"Uh, Underdog?"

"It's a tutu Calhoun, not a cape." She had to hide her laugh.

"Ballerina Dog?" Seriously, she thought to herself. She shook her head. When she looked at Will she could tell he knew and was just enjoying Scout being wrong. They often joked how he had gotten into Rawley if he was so, slow, at getting some things. That is until they got stuck on a math or history problem then he was the genius boy.

"It's dancing with Wolves." Will had finally answered. She nodded and went to take his seat while he went to the board. He had started to draw and quite honestly she didn't have a clue what this was supposed to be. She looked at Scout and she was a little surprised to see that he knew exactly what it was.

"A broken compass or one that is trying to be broken." She hadn't thought of that but now she saw it. They had made their own cards when they got tired of the ones that came with the game. She was still looking at Scout as he threw Will a look that said 'not now'.

"What's going on you two?" She knew something was wrong. She hadn't known what to expect next. Neither Will nor Scout spoke for a couple of minutes. The way Scout kept looking at Will then at her she'd seen it before. It was almost like she had seen the look before on another person's face. That was when it hit her. She looked at Will and immediately stood up ready for what was coming. "Will? Tell me I'm wrong in thinking what I am." She couldn't bring herself to say the words let alone think them. Will is her best friend; he can't be in love with her.

"It's true. I won't say it. I don't need to. You know already Jake." She stared at him in disbelief. She didn't ever expect this to happen. She didn't know how to respond to him. Part of her wanted to go to him and part of her wanted to get away from him. She didn't love him, not like he obviously loves her, but she didn't ever want to hurt him either. "Jake. Your phone is ringing. It's probably Hamilton. We can continue the game later."

"Hamilton, hold on a second." She hit the mute button and looked Will directly in the eyes. "Can we talk about this later? We really need to." All he did was nod. She un-muted the phone and began to talk to Ham again. "Hey boy. Yeah, I just had to finish something real quick. What's going on?...I don't know Ham…Why not your parents place?...It's not really…" She knew that no one could hear what he was saying but all of a sudden Scout set a piece of paper in front of her. 'He can stay with me.' She read it and looked at him as he nodded his head. "Scout's place?...He said you could stay with him…Yes, he's here, we're playing Pictionary just like I told you we would…Well go pack then Fleming…See you when I see you." After she sat her phone down she turned to face Will once again, "Do you want to talk privately or…"

"Scout knows it all anyways." He had cut her off. "He's known for years I've loved you Jake." She hadn't expected him to say it, but now she had to tell him how she felt.

She was terrified of what might happen after everything was said.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Scout quickly made an excuse to leave. He was certain he didn't want to be around when all this hit the fan. He knew that one of them would most likely end up leaving the apartment for the rest of the evening but he wasn't sure which one. When he got in his apartment he saw that he had a voicemail. Strange, he thought to himself since almost no one he knew ever called his landline.

"Hey Scout. It's Bella. I really need to talk to you. I tried to get your cell number but no one would give it to me. I know you told me that you didn't want to talk to or see me again, but things have changed Scout. I need to tell you the truth. Call me back, please."

He had almost chocked on his chicken fried rice. Bella, she had called him. He was so angry he was seeing red everywhere. He had told he wanted nothing more to with her. It wasn't because she had been with Hamilton; it was because of what happened after. He had tried to work it out with her but something about her had changed. He hit the erase button and went to his room to try to forget once again the memory that he knew always came back to him whenever he thought of Bella.

After Jake had left Rawley he walked into town to talk to Bella. He could tell that she knew what he was so upset about but she wasn't going to be the first to talk. "Bella. You know why I'm here and I know you most likely saw Jake leave. You have some talking to do, so get to it. Tell me what happened and don't spare my feelings I'm stronger than you may think." He sat down on the couch and waited for her to begin.

"Scout. I never wanted to hurt you. But it started way before last night." He looked up at her utterly confused. Was she saying she has feelings for Hamilton? "We drifted Scout. You and I haven't been…us…for a long time. I developed feelings for someone else and yes I tried to hide it but I couldn't anymore. I watched him every day with her, I saw how much they loved each other but I could also see how much they hurt each other. I was the one who always heard both of them out when they needed someone to talk to. I knew they'd always go back to each other but last night was different. When Hamilton was telling me about the fight they'd had it sounded as if it was really over. I…"

"You like Hamilton?" The girl that he had fallen in love with wasn't there anymore. He had known their break up was coming, he had even known there had been someone else she had feelings for, but he had no idea that person was his best friend. "Hamilton! Bella are you telling me YOU came on to HAMILTON last night?" He didn't get a reply just a nod so he continued his rant. "Well while YOU were hitting on my best friend I was busy comforting yours. Yes I was with Jake, well Will and I were. But back to you, did you even stop to consider what this would do to us, to them? Bella answer please!" He knew he was yelling but he was beyond the point of caring.

"No Scout. There had been drinking…I wasn't myself. I didn't think that all this would happen. I didn't expect Jake to run out of town. Yes I knew that things would end between us but we both knew that right?" He continued to glare at her.

"Yes we both knew that it was coming. I'm going now. I don't want to hear anymore. I don't want to see you again and I don't want to hear from you again. And, I have a message from Jake. Don't try and call her because she won't EVER answer. Don't try and come see her because she's moving. So basically her message is to forget her." He could see her face and he was surprised and also disgusted to see there was no sign of remorse. "You know Bella, how can you stand there as if nothing happened when Hamilton is damn near catatonic?" When he said this he saw a flicker of emotion cross her face, she was worried about him.

"What do you mean Scout?" He looked at her in disbelief.

"I mean, Hamilton can barely look at himself let alone anyone else. He won't say anything to anyone unless it's the words 'she's gone' and quite frankly he looks like he just died and went straight to hell Bella. He hates himself. He hates that he hurt her, he hates that he hurt me even I can see that. So while you are here…" He motioned around her living room with his hand. "not caring who got hurt in the fall out of last night know that Hamilton is hurt just as much. Live with that Bella." He turned on his heel and slammed the door behind him.

He hadn't gone back to school. He marched straight to his car and drove off. He didn't know where he was going until he got there. His head was still spinning and he felt weak. He didn't know how to get past this. He needed someone to be strong with him, well for him if he was being honest. So he ended up at Jake's. She was the strongest person he knew. He walked in just as she was packing up her stuff to leave. "I don't…I need…I…" He didn't need to say anything else, which was good because he couldn't. She had gotten up and hugged him like both their lives depended on it. She had been that strength that he needed to move on and he knew he could never repay her. He never told her about what was said at Bella's, he was afraid that would break her and he couldn't do that to her. He just made himself promise that one day when she needed him he'd be strong for her when she felt like she couldn't be strong anymore.

That was when he heard the knocking on his door and was snapped out of his reverie. He knew who it was before he opened it. Jake. "I…" She had started but he shook his head. "I know." That was all he said. He took her in his arms and let her cry. His time had come, he could pay her back. He would be strong for her now. He was her best friend, the one who she wasn't afraid to come to and cry. "It's all going to be okay Jake. You'll get through this. We'll get through this. We always do." He repeated the words she had said to him 5 years ago, they were just as true now as they were then. "Strawberry or Chocolate?" He hid his smirk as she looked up at him with confusion. "Ice cream…it makes everyone feel better. And, I have loads of it. Come on." He grabbed her hand and led her to the kitchen. He could tell her mood had lightened a little but he wanted to make her laugh. "Whipped cream?" She nodded her head and he smiled. "Oops. Did I miss the bowl? Sorry Jake." He took off running when she grabbed the other can and he could tell that she was definitely feeling better now.

"I'm going to get you Calhoun!" He smiled as he hid around the corner.

"Not if you can't find me Pratt. This is my apartment and I know all the secret spots." They were both laughing and at that moment he knew that yes, they'd both be okay.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Hamilton was still in shock after their long webcam chat. She didn't know. His parents had kept that secret. Part of him was happy that she didn't know, yet part of him wished that she did. "It wouldn't have brought her back to me any sooner." He said aloud to himself. He was glad he would be staying with Scout. He didn't want to be that far away from her, he wanted to be able to be there whenever she needed him. His plane was leaving very early and he knew he should hurry up and finish packing so he could sleep, but that's the last thing he wanted to do. He wanted to talk to her again, see her again.

*ring ring* It wasn't his cell phone so he let it go and continued to daydream about what might happen when he saw her. *ring ring* He pretended not to hear that one either. *ring ring* "Seriously! Stop calling, I won't answer!" He screamed at the cordless phone sitting 10 steps away from him. He waited for it to ring again but it didn't. Good, he thought, they finally gave up. *ring ring* this time he leaped up and stomped angrily to the phone. The caller ID was a New Rawley number, which was strange because everyone who mattered there called his cell phone.

"Okay. Hello? You have me on the phone now who is it?" He was done being polite. He was busy and he really only wanted to talk to one person.

"It's me. Bella." And it wasn't this person. He hung up immediately.

He was furious. How had she gotten his number? He hadn't talked to her since that one stupid night and he didn't want to. He always avoided her whenever he had gone home to visit his parents. *ring ring* He picked up the phone and nearly screamed "Seriously Bella! I don't want to talk to you. I haven't for 5 years and how the hell did you get this number anyway!?"

"Hamilton you have to listen to me. It wasn't easy to get your number. In the end Sean gave it to me. Look I know this is going to sound weird but you have to listen to me." He was even more furious now.

"Sean? Well that's just fantastic. No. I don't have to listen to you. Goodbye." He hung up again. He knew she would want to talk about what happened but he didn't. He never wanted to talk about the party or her. He still hated himself and he hadn't drunk alcohol since that night. Although now a drink was sounding pretty good. *ring ring* "Well you won't give up so I'll just leave the phone on speaker and ignore you. At least then I can pack for New York without the incessant ringing." He set the phone down and hit the speaker button.

"Okay I deserve that." Yes you do, he thought to himself. "About what happened, I'm sorry that you lost her because of it. You said it was over and I…I'm sorry okay?" He didn't answer. He was tuning her out, or trying to. He didn't want to hear her apologies. "Okay this will be a one sided conversation then." No kidding Sherlock. He threw pictures into boxes. "You need to know the truth Hamilton. I'm sorry I didn't tell you this years ago but I need to now. I wasn't drunk. I was sober. I knew what I was doing Hamilton." He froze and glared at the phone laying there on his table. "But you can't tell me you didn't feel…" He snapped and grabbed the phone.

"Feel what! Utter disgust? Because that is ALL I felt Bella. And what the hell do you mean you weren't drunk? You were Jake's best friend; you wouldn't have done that if you were sober." He was shaking now and he felt the sudden urge to hit…something. "Answer me! I want answers and I want them NOW!"

"Disgust? Hamilton. Yes, she was my friend but things changed. You both changed. I saw it. Feelings change and I couldn't hide mine anymore. You said it was over and something changed Hamilton. You don't remember but I told you how I felt that night and you didn't push me away." He shook his head. "You didn't want it to happen either though. You protested a lot but then you stopped protesting. You kissed me back Hamilton. It felt right." He exploded.

"No Bella. It didn't feel right. Yes, I remember you telling me everything. It's fuzzy but I've always remembered. I didn't kiss you, well physically yes I did, but at that point I was so drunk I was beyond caring. I blacked out Bella. I thought it was me and Jake. When I came to, I hated myself. I still do. Why do you think every time I've come home I've kept it a secret? I've been avoiding you. I don't want to see you. I don't want to talk to you. And, I certainly don't want to think about that night again. I did what you asked me to do. I listened to you, now listen to me. Okay?" His manners in the end were getting the best of him. He knew he had probably already hurt her but he needed to say what he knew would hurt the worst of all, because yes he did know she had feelings for him.

"What Hamilton?" She was crying it sounded like. Oddly enough, he didn't care.

"Don't call me again. Don't try and find me again. I don't have feelings for you. You were a good friend and that's all. I'm sorry but our friendship is over. Goodbye Bella." He hung up. He didn't like to hurt people, especially people who he cared about. Yes, he still cared about Bella but he couldn't be friends with her. Not after what had happened, and to learn now that she hadn't been drunk, he was still in shock. He unplugged his landline and went back to his packing.

10 Hours. That's how long he had. 5 until he had to board his plane, 5 until he landed in New York. He was still excited but now he had something new to worry about. "No more secrets Hamilton. If we are going to do this we have to be able to tell each other everything." That's what she had said before her laptop had died. How was he supposed to tell her something like this? He couldn't keep it to himself; he didn't want to start out ruining things with her already.

The only thing he could think of was to somehow get Bella on the phone and convince Jake to listen to her. "Yeah that's going to go over about as well as me driving nails in my eyes." He said aloud to his CD collection. I'll have to tell her, or at least start to tell her. It was never Bella, not in his head, in his head it was always Jake. How could he explain that? He didn't know but he was glad he had 10 hours to figure it out.

Please don't let her hate me.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Will had woken up to find that Jake never came home. He was worried about her but he was still upset about what was said last night. "I never wanted you to be more than a friend Will. Maybe I counted on you too much, I'm sorry. I can't do this. I can't live with you anymore." That had been the last thing she said to him before she left. She didn't take her things with her so he knew she'd have to come back for them. After he had checked on Munchie he noticed that they had a message on the answering machine, warily he listened to it.

"Jake. I know I'm the last person you want to talk to but I need to talk to you. Scout won't talk to me, but I need you to. Please call me back." Bella, he thought. He hadn't heard the door open behind him.

"What could she possibly want?!" Jake. She was yelling. She grabbed for the phone and he knew what she would do. He watched as she paced with the phone up to her ear. He knew that Bella had wanted to talk to her, Sean had told him that much, but he had no idea how bad it would be. "Yeah it's me. Don't sound too surprised. What do you want Banks?" There was venom in her voice and he'd never heard it before.

What happened next had caught him completely off guard. Scout had walked in behind Jake and shut the door just as Jake picked up her cell phone and threw it as hard as she could at the wall. "You weren't what! You little…" She was yelling and still throwing everything she could get her hands on. What had Bella said? "You have what for whom?! Oh, no you do not want to go down that road Bella. Shut up! I don't want to hear your damn apologies!" He was just as confused as he looked to Scout for some answers.

"Jake…" He was whispering. "What's wrong? What'd Bella say?" He stumbled back a few steps when her gaze met his. She was furious and suddenly the phrase if looks could kill ran through his mind.

"Oh you want to know Will?" She turned around and saw Scout there, "Or, how about you Scout?" She pressed the speaker phone, "You're going on speaker phone Banks. Go on. Tell them." He waited for what felt like an eternity but then he heard the words that made all hell break loose in that 2 bedroom apartment.

"I wasn't drunk, and I have feelings for Hamilton." Scout was just as furious as Jake but something was off about it. Will had a feeling that Scout knew part of that before now. Words started to fly back and forth from Jake to Bella to Scout to Bella and back to Jake. Will had to get out of there. He grabbed the door and wrenched it open only to find a piece of paper with his name on it.

William Krudski.  
You don't know me but I know you. I know Jake too.  
I'm watching you both. Does she know you love her?  
She's very good at keeping secrets. Ask her about me.  
I know you're dying to. –P

"Jake!" He turned and stomped back in the room. He hit the button on the receiver and hung up the phone. "Who the hell is P and why is he watching us?" He saw her face drain of color and for a moment he regretted the words he said. He held up the note and took another step towards her. "Who is he Jacqueline!" He didn't want to yell at her but he knew without pushing her he'd never get a straight answer.

"An ex-boyfriend." There was more to it than that. He looked at Scout and knew he could see it too.

"Not buying it. He may be an ex but he's more than that. Who is he Jake?" He gave her a look that he knew she'd understand. She left the room and Scout gave him a puzzled look. When she came back she had a piece of paper with her, the same kind as his letter. He read the paper she handed him then handed it to Scout. "What does he mean you did something you can't take back? What'd you do Jake?"

"I testified against him." Her answer was a whisper but he heard it and he knew Scout had too. They both sank onto the couch and looked at her. He knew that Jake was in trouble now if this guy was watching her. Testifying against someone that's, worse than sleeping with your friends boyfriend, was the first thought that came to his mind.

"What'd he do?" His voice wasn't as loud as he wanted it to and it cracked at the end. He knew she heard it though because she sat on the coffee table.

"I was 14 and he was 18. I dated him briefly to try to get my mom's attention, another plan that didn't go so well. He had a sister, Samantha. She testified too. We were both there. I had broken it off with him but he wanted…more. I fought him but he slipped me something that made me very sleepy. That's when Samantha came in; she helped me, her and her boyfriend. My mom came back briefly to help me file charges and ground me but then she left again. The last I knew he was in jail and now this." He saw her hold up the letter and he didn't know what to say.

"He knows about Hamilton." It was Scout that spoke. We both looked at him and he continued, "The letter. Jake, does Ham know?" It was a good question; Will had to give him that.

"No." She whispered it and that's when Will found his voice.

"You have to tell him. Today, Jake. It will be worse if he finds out like I did." He ran a hand through his hair and got up. He was pacing. Someone was watching Jake, he didn't know why or what the guy wanted, he just had a feeling it wouldn't be good. "You can't move far Jake. You need to stay close." He had to have her close so he could protect her.

"She's moving in with me Will." Scout. He hadn't expected that.

"Hamilton? Where'll he be staying then?" He hadn't turned to face them. He was pretty sure he didn't want to know the answer.

"With me as well. We'll work something out." He turned to look at them and didn't know what to say. He shook his head and walked to his room and slammed the door.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Silence. That is how the rest of the day passed, in silence. Will didn't say anything more to her neither did Scout. She knew that they were worried about her and this is exactly why she never wanted to tell them. She moved her things into Scouts apartment and was surprised to see twin beds in the spare bedroom. "Scout? Why twin beds?"

"Well I figured you and Hamilton didn't want to sleep together so I traded the big bed for 2 twin beds. Should I write Ricky and Lucy on them?" He was smirking but then turned and left the room. She hated that Scout wouldn't talk to her. Yes, she had kept a secret from them, a big secret, but it was to protect them. Surely they could see that.

As she continued to unpack she noticed someone standing by the door. Will. "I'm sorry you know. I didn't tell anyone because I wanted to protect you all. I didn't know it would blow up in my face." She looked at him and saw him nodding. He understood then, that at least made her hopeful that by tonight the silence would be gone. "Are you going to say anything or just stand there?"

"You and Scout leave in 20 minutes to get Hamilton. Scouts driving, no exceptions. Munchie is going with me to the park." She watched him turn on his heel and leave. Great, she thought, they both hate me now. Hamilton, he'll hate me too. No secrets, yeah right why did I have to say that? She walked into the living room to find Scout typing furiously on his computer with his Bluetooth in his ear.

"Yeah dad I know…well I don't ask for a hell of a lot…I can't tell you why dad!" He was yelling. She went and sat down across from him; he gave her a small smile and turned the screen around. "You're the senator for crying out loud! Use your connections I don't care! No one will get access to any information involving Jake, Ham, Will, Sean, Bella, or me…Really?!...Thank you, dad." She had finished reading the screen and was utterly confused. "My dad is coming through after all Jake." He gave her a big smile. "Can you fix my computer?"

"Yes, but…I thought you hated me? You haven't talked to me." She started to de-bug his computer. Somebody had tried to hack in to the hard drive but Scout had done a good job at keeping them going in circles.

"No. That's a stupid thing. If I hated you, you wouldn't be living with me. I wanted to keep you safe, which thanks to dad no one will be able to access any information about any of us." I looked at him with probably a dumfounded look on my face. "You're like my sister. When I find out some perv is threatening you, yeah I'm pissed that you didn't tell me by the way, but it's not you I'm mad at. It's him. He needs to know who he's dealing with. I'll do what it takes to keep you safe and I know Ham and Will, they'll be right next to me. Now…enough with the sappy stuff, we have to go get Ricky, Lucy." He smiles at me and I throw a couch pillow at him.

"Yeah and you're welcome by the way for fixing you computer. And…thanks Scout." He gave me a hug and we left towards the airport.

It wasn't as silent a drive as I hoped it would be. Parker was never mentioned and I was thankful for that. It was mainly jokes that filled the car as we sat in traffic.

"You're not going to go all girl on me and run up to him and be all 'oh Ham I missed you so much *kiss kiss kiss*' because if so you'll have to excuse me while I barf barf barf." He was cracking up so hard I had to tell him the light was green.

"Ha ha ha. I know you'd love that Mr. I got you Ricky and Lucy beds. Now eyes on the road Mr. Comedian."

"Oh come on Jake. You know you and Ham won't last 10 minutes without pushing those beds together. I can picture it now. I'm almost asleep and *BANG* the beds separate and one of you is on the floor while the other is cracking up with me standing at the door saying 'uh uh uh none of that in my apartment'"

"SCOUT! You…you…you.." I punched him just because I couldn't think of a comeback.

"I…what? Know you and Ham better than you think?" He smirked and I couldn't help but smile back. He was right and I knew it, except it'd be longer than 10 minutes. But one day maybe Hamilton and I would work things out and be able to be together again like we were. I couldn't help but hold onto that hope.

We parked the car and started to head to baggage claim where we were told to meet him. I was pacing back and forth while Scout just sat there and stared at people who passed by.

"Hey Jake. I think I see him!" I whirled around looking frantically as I heard his laughter. "Oh man that was priceless! You really are nervous aren't you? You should have seen your face Jake, I'm serious it was 'is my hair ok?' looking!" He was laughing so hard I swore I saw tears coming from his eyes.

"Not funny Scout." I kicked his ankle and smiled.

"OW! Don't kick me. I was just trying to stop your absurd pacing, now sit down like a good girl and wait. Here I brought a book." I looked at the cover and shoved it back at him.

"Dating for dummies? Really Scout? Grow up Calhoun."

"I am grown up. I'm not pacing and worrying if I look okay. It's just Hamilton for crying out loud. You could have a paper bag over your head and he'd still think you're beautiful. Maybe weird but still beautiful."

I sighed. "Right. Can we just sit silently? I'm going to have to listen to enough of your jokes when we are both living with you."

"Admit it. I'm a lot more fun to live with than Will. He never liked whipped cream fights." He smiled.

"Fine. That was fun, but I swear if you try and do some lame sabotage thing when Ham or I go to open the bedroom door you're a dead man." I looked at him seriously, even though I was joking.

"Uh-huh. I know you'd get me back, and then the war would begin. Maybe it already has and you just don't know it yet."

I looked at him, there was something he was hiding or planning. I couldn't think on it long because out of my peripheral vision I saw him. Hamilton. I jumped up and ran to him.

"Hamilton! I missed you so much! I'm sorry!" I collided with him, wrapping my arms around his neck and sent him into the wall behind him. I was never going to let go.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

I got on the plane that was bound for New York. I had 5 hours so far to plan out what to say to her and I was still at a loss for words. Nothing seemed to sound good enough in my head. I still can't believe Bella. She wasn't drunk, that's disturbing. She could have stopped it but she didn't. She had said she felt something for me long before that night; she didn't make it obvious, did she? I mean she didn't act like she had feelings for me, did she? As I'm standing in line to board the plane I think back over the years in high school, Bella had become an important friend to me. Someone I could confide in. We joked around with each other, yeah who didn't make jokes with your best friend. But now I remember, there had been times when her hand would brush up against mine, or her leg would brush up against mine when she walked by sometimes, crap. She did like me back then and I had just been too stupid to realize it.

As I made my way to my seat I felt horrible. If I could get through this flight and see Jake surely everything would be okay. The plane took off and they came around asking if we wanted something to drink. "Water." There must have been something in my voice because the old woman next to me then asked me a question.

"Are you okay young man?"

I turn my head to look at her. "Yes ma'am. I'm just…tired."

"Okay. Whoever the girl is she is very lucky."

I sit up a little straighter now. "What do you mean ma'am?"

She looks at me and she smiles. "You love her a lot. You seem troubled though. If I may give you some advice though, don't worry so much. You're young, everything will work itself out. Whatever problems you have or questions you have they will work out, when the time is right. I've been in your shoes before, love. It's the greatest thing to find, but it's also the worst thing to lose."

She was offering me advice? She doesn't know me. My problems, I don't think they are that simple. I have a feeling this won't just work itself out. "With all due respect ma'am I think this trip is a make or break situation. I messed up big time and it's taken her 5 years to talk to me again."

"Would you like to talk about it? Maybe I can give some words of wisdom, or I can just listen. Sometimes that's all one needs is someone on the outside to listen." I find myself nodding my head and I sit back to explain it to her.

"It all started 5 years ago. We were seniors in high school and had been dating all throughout high school. High school sweethearts. She was it for me; she was my best friend…" I got through the story. I told her everything, even about how Jake pretended to be a boy and me thinking I was gay, she chuckled at that part. I even told her about the recent phone call from Bella. I told her that I hadn't had another drink since that night, not even on New Year's like every other college kid. I even told her the secret I had kept from Jake. "I knew that my parents were paying for her college and that they were paying the rent at the apartment in New York for her. They were doing it for me, because they love me and they knew I'd want them to. I found that out 6 months after I graduated. She has spent the last 5 years thinking that they are the ones who supported her for years, but it wasn't them. It was me. I sent them the money and they sent it to her. They never told her, I don't know why. I did it because I love her. Because after everything that had happened I still wanted to look out for her, so I did what I could. I made sure that she was taken care of financially." I told her that I was sorry, really sorry for any pain that I'd caused Jake. I told her how I hated myself for letting what happened with Bella happen. I told her that I knew I didn't deserve Jake's forgiveness nor did I deserve her love. When I finished I was surprised to her still smiling at me.

"That's a lot to go through with someone. But Hamilton, from what you've told me I have to disagree with you. Everyone makes mistakes in their lives, its human nature. It's how we handle them that define us. You think you don't deserve Jacqueline, why? Because you had one night where you made a mistake? I don't think that's true. I think you do deserve her, let me tell you why. You stepped up. You went to her to tell her yourself, that's what a man does or should do; you did the right thing there. You gave her space and time to think about everything, even after you found out your parents were supporting her. You could have gone back and yelled like madman for her not coming to you but you didn't. You decided to keep doing what you've always done and love her even if it meant she didn't always know or see how you loved her. Hamilton, you shouldn't hate yourself and I don't think you should hate Bella either. Hate is such a strong emotion, almost as strong as love. It has the power to destroy things that are very precious, take it from me I know." I must have given her an 'are you crazy' look because she held up her hand and continued. "I'm not saying that I agree with Bella. What she did by not telling you sooner what she felt and that she wasn't intoxicated like you were, that was wrong, but she did tell you. She had to come to terms with it herself first Hamilton. What I'm saying is don't sell yourself short. Don't give up hope before you even have a chance to see where the wind takes you. Was I any help?" The plane had landed and we were walking to de-board the plane.

"Yes ma'am, you helped a lot. Thank you for listening. I think I'll take your advice, I'll see what happens with Jake. Maybe everything will be okay."

We walk to baggage claim together and I help her get her bags. I see Jake pacing and I know Scout see's me but I shake my head for him not to say anything, he nods his head so I know he understands. "That's her." I point Jake out to the woman. She looks beautiful, even though something is on her mind that's making her nervous.

"She's beautiful. It will work out Hamilton. Thank you for walking with me." She turns and heads for the door.

I turn to get my bags and suddenly Jake is colliding with me and I stumble back into the wall. Did she miss me this much? "Hamilton! I missed you so much! I'm sorry!" She's apologizing to me? There's nothing for her to be sorry about. I wrap my arms around her and hug her tight. I bury my face in her hair and when I go to pull away I see the old woman smiling at us. I smile back at her and for once I have hope that she's right, everything will work itself out.

"I missed you too Jake. I love you so much and I'm so sorry for everything. Let's get home, we should talk." She nods. "Hey Scout. How ya been man?" I give him a one armed hug.

"Oh you know, so so. Jake's been keeping me company. We had a whipped cream fight the other day it was awesome." I have to laugh, that sounds like something Scout must have started and I'm 99.9% sure Jake ended it.

"Sounds fun. Let's get home."

We grab my bags and head out to the parking lot. I notice that Jake never lets go of my hand, she's holding it like it's a life preserver or something. I put my duffel bag and backpack in the trunk and go to get in the car. Scout has this expression on his face, he's going to do something, but I have no clue what. Maybe I'm just reading it wrong. The car turns on and I hear the song on the radio.

_Baby, babe, I'll meet you _

_Same place, same time _

_Where we can get together _

_And ease up our mind  
Oh do a little dance, make a little love _

_Get down tonight, get down tonight _

_Do a little dance, make a little love _

_Get down tonight, get down tonight_

Scout. I lean up and whack him in the head then turn to look at Jake. She's fuming mad. She leans up and glares at him in the eyes "It's on Calhoun. Sleep with one eye open." I couldn't help but laugh a little. The song kept playing as Scout exited the parking garage. Things actually felt normal. I had my arm around Jake and Scout was ragging on us like he always used to about our relationship.

Maybe everything will be okay.


End file.
